Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Pray for Spencer and his family's loss

It’s been a difficult few days, especially for Spencer and his family. Although we have been playing gigs with Spencer, we have been silent about the hardships he has been going through out of respect to him and his family as they mourn. Five days have gone by now since his good friend Joe has passed away suddenly. Joe was like family, the very close boyfriend to sister Rachel for the past 4 years. Please pray for Spencer and his family as they continue to mourn and process such a sudden death. I asked Spence if he knew what happened, and he said that Joe had a history of epilepsy. This is the only explanation.

Life, Death, Last moments

What can explain death? It's so naturally a part of life, but far too un-natural. Especially when you don't get to say good-bye. When someone dies, the last memory you had together or the interaction we had with them is so important to us. Those last few glances, words, touches. I saw Joe last time at a concert we played here in San Diego, and the interaction was very wonderful in fact. We talked about music, about its meaning and importance and depth. He had a beautiful smile and such warmth in his face and words. He and his sister Jamie were there attentatively and seemed so beautiful together. The three of us stood and talked with connecting eyes and appreciative words. I felt like Joe and his sister genuinely connected to the music we did last night, and I so much appreciated them in that moment. We hugged, turned, and parted. How ironic are those small moments that pass so quickly, so tritely. If I had known that was the last time to see him, what would i say? I think most of me is glad that i didn't know. It was a graceful and peaceful way to connect, and then to say good-bye.

My acquaintance to Joe is pale to the light and love that Spencer, Spencer’s sister, and Joe’s family had with him. I asked Spencer what his last moments were like. He shared with a smile some of the warm and fun moments hanging out. One of which stood out in my mind was Spencer’s drum and guitar home duo created on a whim. Spencer was warming up or practicing some drum strokes and Joe decided to join in on an acoustic. Somehow, the fiasco ended up being a mariachi-fest. Knowing Spencer it came likely came with falsetto “yawlps” of all sorts and gestures. I know too that Joe and his girlfriend (Spence’s sister) spent a very good part of the last year together traveling the United States and South America. We actually saw them as our band tour and their “couple tour” crossed paths in Chicago this year. As sad and tragic as it is, what better way then to spend the last year of your life traveling the world with the one whom you love most.

Pray for Spencer, his family, and Joe’s family. Love and be loved. Life is too fragile to do otherwise.

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