Tuesday, November 11, 2008

worn out / second chances

Me (courtesy of my macbook cam on my computer)...worn out and overworked by my mean boss (who is also me). I have to keep reminding myself that this is a season. A season that I find myself doing far more of that which i don't want to, and NOT doing far more than i DO wish to. That sounded a lot like the way my brain feels right now, but i assure you it actually makes sense.

I always say this, and it never changes. I get stressed as the Christmas season approaches. It has been a long time since I can remember the sweet soft nostalgia of Christmas when there is little or no responsibility involved. Just cookies, sweet smelling pines, and hot cider. At this point in life, this season has been a rush to get a Christmas album out (yes, as promised) and then to plan a short tour of the west coast. On top of that, I have been producing another band from San Diego. All of these in themselves are great things. The sum of them...too much to handle.

I don't have any profound thoughts about all of this. Other than that I am proud to be doing what i do, yet at the same time exhausted and sometimes resentful that my life doesn't exist in peaceful and pensive way. I suppose i can be thankful that life IS seasonal in so many ways. Not only broken up into years, or winters, springs, and summers, but also in days and nights. Imagine if we never had to sleep. We would just keep existing, never another starting place, never the feeling of a clean slate. Just one big fat ongoing day. That my friend would be sheer hell.

So here's to "the day." God's gift, God's way of understanding our fragility and constant need to renew. He wisely built a system for us that accounted for a lot of failure (on our part of course) and the need to do it all over again. Good night, until tomorrow...

1 comment:

The Chau Family said...

Dear Little Brother - I am always encouraged that God has gifted you so greatly and that you choose to use your gifts for Him. I miss you and I pray for you often. :)