Friday, February 6, 2009

On My Flight to Florida

I’m in a plane from Denver to Florida right now. This is a picture of my knee stained in coffee. The coffee does not belong to me. I was in the airport just a few moments ago laying over in my at my lay-over. And I stopped to get some stuff out of my bag. As I knelt down on the carpet I noticed a very cold and wet sensation on my knee. I looked down and found that my jeans were drinking someone else’s coffee that had been spilled into the carpet.

This blog is mainly posted to see if I can find out who left the coffee. If you happened to be at a the Denver International airport today at a Southwest gate, then your coffee is now on my pants. I’d like to talk to you about some compensation in a few different ways:

1) I’d like a new pair of American Eagle Low Rise Boot Cut jeans size 27 (yes, I know I’m skinny, you’re not the first to tell me).

2) I think its only reasonable that there be compensation for our decrease in CD sales at our Florida gigg. Since CD sales in America are generated mostly by image (and certainly not music), the coffee stain on my jeans greatly decreases our sales and image at our live performance.

3) Obviously the emotional trauma of the coffee stain will require therapy and self-image support. Not to mention the time I will need to take off work.

If you think that I am writing this blog because the economy is low and it is an easy way to make some extra cash to pay rent, you are just wrong.

Other news…I just discovered that the word “knelt” comes from the word “knee.” I made this discovery just now by thinking about it on my own.

1 comment:

Dominic said...

Eric, you are hilarious. Keep up the great work. I can't wait for the next album.