I always have people get really freaked out when they see my nails. So to clarify, I just want to make sure people understand what they are NOT for.
- Making women jealous: Yes, women who bite their nails look at my hands with longing and envy.
- Drugs: I don’t do drugs and I don’t know how or why you would need long nails to do them. But even if I DID do drugs, I certainly wouldn’t grow my nails to do them. I’d hire someone who had long nails to do whatever they do for that sort of thing.
- Because I’m a transvestite: I do get strange looks when people see my right hand. I wish they would notice its only on one hand and start asking themselves more questions. Fortunately, I don’t live in San Fran and get hit on by the transvestite population, so I’m doing ok.
- To scratch: I’m sure they sell backscratchers at the 99 cent store. Well more worth the investment.
Here’s my list of reasons why I HATE having long nails
1) For all of the reasons mentioned above that people think but seldom say
2) I can’t climb any rocks because its impossible to grip the side of a cliff with brittle strips of protein (Yes, the same material your hair is made of)
3) When I break them, I get bummed like a sissy and I feel broken and abused
4) They get full of food like Cheetos cheese when eating. Upside is I can save my lunch for later that way.
Here’s my list of why I actually grow my nails out
1) To play guitar
Yes, its true. I hate to disappoint. I use my right hand to finger pick the guitar. I shape the nails at an angle and keep them long so I can finger pick. My left hand nails stay super short.
There’s been a few different people playing bass on the new material so far. Ben did a track last week, I did a track yesterday, and my buddy Pete is doing a track today. We do a lot of bass with a pick which is great for me. But at the end of this song I was recording, I wanted to pluck the strings with some meaty fingers, but my nails were too long. Instead, I played the neck with my left hand and had Spencer pluck the strings with his meaty fingers (those of you women who like men with meaty fingers should know Spencer is still available). Not joking, we really did this. 2 people playing one bass guitar! We got some video of it and will post soon.